I'm such a hopeless romantic...
Sometimes, I lay awake just thinking about this perfect love that's going to come my way. This scares me. I'm afraid that I'll build myself up only to be torn down. No one will be perfect, and this scares me. Now, I realize that no one is perfect and I like to accept people, flaws and all, but that's not what I'm saying.
What I mean is:
Will he grab my hand when we walk?
Will he kiss me on my forhead when I'm upset and tell me everything will be okay?
Will he kiss me on the cheek to tell me goodnight?
Will he take me to lame movies just because I want to see them?
Will he be okay with my very strange eating habits?
Will he tell me I'm beautiful without warning?
Will he tap my nose and tell me I'm "just so cute!"?
Will he play with my hand while he holds it?
Will he take naps with me?
Will he love my dog like I do?
Will he kiss me randomly?
Will he go on picnics with me?
Will he hold his hand up to mine so we can see how much bigger his hand is?
Will he be okay with my flaws?
Will he lay under the stars with me?
Will he dance with me?
Will he be everything I've dreamed?
These things scare me.
They're so little, but it's stuff like this that I think about.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Hey Stephen.
June 10, 2010.
My best friend of 5 years moved to Kentucky.
Needless to say, it was a very rough day. She left on the last day of school, giving us no time to have one last summer together. I wish I had one more summer to hold on to. When that last half-day was finished, my sister picked me up and drove me to Jenna's house. I held it together until the very end. Then, as we were standing on her front stairs, I looked at her. I knew things were never going to be the same. I just cried.
We stood there and cried for what seemed like a lifetime, and then I had to leave.
My sister and I went to eat lunch and I tried to keep myself distracted. If I thought about it, I knew I'd cry. I did it. I didn't cry. Then, when I returned home, I went to my room and closed the door and I cried for hours. I knew that I would see her again, but it was heartbreaking to know that it would only be in short spurts and spiradically throughout the years.
I didn't lose my best friend, but I could never describe the pit inside when I realized I couldn't hug her. I was lonely.
When she left, I was constantly searching for someone to fix that lonely feeling. I've made tons of new friends and I've hung out with a lot more people, but nothing ever came close to Jenna. Nothing will ever compare to Jenna.
However, there's someone who makes me giggle like she does. He's something, all right. I'm not in love and he's not even mine, but he's amazing. He's nothing short of perfect to me.
"Hey Stephen, I know looks can be deceiving,
but I know I saw a light in you.
As we walked, we would talk
and I didn't say half the things I wanted to.
Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window,
I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold.
Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing
I don't always have to be alone.
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel,
can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so,
come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you.
Can't help it if there's no one else,
mmm, I can't help myself.
Hey Stephen, I've been holding back this feeling,
so I got some things to say to you.
I've seen it all, so I thought,
but I never seen nobody shine the way you do.
The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name,
it's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change.
Hey Stephen, why are people always leaving?
I think you and I should stay the same.
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel,
can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so,
come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you.
Can't help it if there's no one else,
mmm, I can't help myself.
They're dimming the street lights, you're perfect for me.
Why aren't you here tonight?
I'm waiting alone now, so come on and come out
and pull me near and shine, shine, shine.
Hey Stephen, I could give you fifty reasons
why I should be the one you choose.
All those other girls, well, they're beautiful,
but would they write a song for you?
I can't help it if you look like an angel,
can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so,
come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you.
Can't help it if there's no one else,
mmm, I can't help myself
if you look like an angel.
Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so,
come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you.
Can't help it if there's no one else,
mmm, I can't help myself.
I can't help myself."
Hey Stephen.
My best friend of 5 years moved to Kentucky.
Needless to say, it was a very rough day. She left on the last day of school, giving us no time to have one last summer together. I wish I had one more summer to hold on to. When that last half-day was finished, my sister picked me up and drove me to Jenna's house. I held it together until the very end. Then, as we were standing on her front stairs, I looked at her. I knew things were never going to be the same. I just cried.
We stood there and cried for what seemed like a lifetime, and then I had to leave.
My sister and I went to eat lunch and I tried to keep myself distracted. If I thought about it, I knew I'd cry. I did it. I didn't cry. Then, when I returned home, I went to my room and closed the door and I cried for hours. I knew that I would see her again, but it was heartbreaking to know that it would only be in short spurts and spiradically throughout the years.
I didn't lose my best friend, but I could never describe the pit inside when I realized I couldn't hug her. I was lonely.
When she left, I was constantly searching for someone to fix that lonely feeling. I've made tons of new friends and I've hung out with a lot more people, but nothing ever came close to Jenna. Nothing will ever compare to Jenna.
However, there's someone who makes me giggle like she does. He's something, all right. I'm not in love and he's not even mine, but he's amazing. He's nothing short of perfect to me.
"Hey Stephen, I know looks can be deceiving,
but I know I saw a light in you.
As we walked, we would talk
and I didn't say half the things I wanted to.
Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window,
I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold.
Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing
I don't always have to be alone.
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel,
can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so,
come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you.
Can't help it if there's no one else,
mmm, I can't help myself.
Hey Stephen, I've been holding back this feeling,
so I got some things to say to you.
I've seen it all, so I thought,
but I never seen nobody shine the way you do.
The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name,
it's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change.
Hey Stephen, why are people always leaving?
I think you and I should stay the same.
'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel,
can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so,
come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you.
Can't help it if there's no one else,
mmm, I can't help myself.
They're dimming the street lights, you're perfect for me.
Why aren't you here tonight?
I'm waiting alone now, so come on and come out
and pull me near and shine, shine, shine.
Hey Stephen, I could give you fifty reasons
why I should be the one you choose.
All those other girls, well, they're beautiful,
but would they write a song for you?
I can't help it if you look like an angel,
can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so,
come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you.
Can't help it if there's no one else,
mmm, I can't help myself
if you look like an angel.
Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, so,
come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you.
Can't help it if there's no one else,
mmm, I can't help myself.
I can't help myself."
Hey Stephen.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Here we go.
I'm not very good at this. You know, the whole "blogging" thing. I've put off making one for quite some time, but today it just felt right. I can't tell you how honest I'll be, and I can't tell you what I'll write about here, but I'll give you this:
I promise to give it my all.
My blog is obviously called "what happened to the fairytale...". I chose this name because it's a lingering question for me. What happened to my fairytale? Where's my Prince Charming to come save the day? Where's my happy ending?
Well, unfortunately, I still haven't found him yet, and I'm still searching for the happy ending...
One day it will come my way, though. It has to. I'm supposed to meet my perfect guy, fall in love, get married, and have kids. That's how it works, right? But, what if it doesn't.
"Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up happy?"
This is a question that won't be answered for quite some time, but I think I'm okay with that. I have faith. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. I'm only 16, and right now, I'm content.
I promise to give it my all.
My blog is obviously called "what happened to the fairytale...". I chose this name because it's a lingering question for me. What happened to my fairytale? Where's my Prince Charming to come save the day? Where's my happy ending?
Well, unfortunately, I still haven't found him yet, and I'm still searching for the happy ending...
One day it will come my way, though. It has to. I'm supposed to meet my perfect guy, fall in love, get married, and have kids. That's how it works, right? But, what if it doesn't.
"Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up happy?"
This is a question that won't be answered for quite some time, but I think I'm okay with that. I have faith. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. I'm only 16, and right now, I'm content.
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